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Political/Historical Humor
By Clive Perry Ririe
(From NETWORK, the family newsletter,
volume 3, October 1997)

For these stories, I credit Congressman Al Swift. He told them in Boise a few years ago at the Jefferson-Jackson dinner. Al Swift, who represented the District in which Carma and Arlo live, was a master story teller and in these accounts he took on the visage of the great Sir Winston.

It was common knowledge that Sir Winston had a running verbal battle with Nancy Astor. They were seated next to each other at a banquet at which Lady Astor, who seriously opposed drinking, chastised Churchill saying, "If I were your wife, I'd put poison in that drink!, Churchlll responded, "If you were my wife I'd drink it!"

Another time in a large ballroom, Churchill apparently overindulged. Lady Astor stood in front of him and said, "Sir Winston, you are drunk. You are very very drunk!" She then turned and walked across the hall, sat down and stared disapprovingly at the inebriated Churchill.

Winston stood, shook his head vigorously, then dragged himself laboriously across the large hall and stood in front of the Lady, the same pose she had assumed earlier before him, and said, " Lady Astor, you are ugly, you are very very ugly!" Then after a most effective pause added, "Tomorrow I shall be sober!"

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